What if there is no answer?

I’ve had a good month in relation to my mental health. No running away when things felt too hard.

I wanted to write a post on what I learnt to share with everyone. I wanted to give some great life advice to the world. I wanted to impart wisdom and knowledge. I wanted to help. But then I realised I didn’t have any answers. I don’t really know why it was a better month.

Was it the psychologist? Maybe.

Was it learning more about how our brains work and why I run away from the psychologist? Maybe

Was it coming up with strategies for when I did want to run away? Maybe

Was it doing meditation nearly every day? Maybe

Was it finally understanding I didn’t need to be right? Maybe

Was it doing exercises in the couple skills books with my boyfriend? Maybe

Was it because it just happened to be an easier month? Maybe

Was it because I started doing some exercise again? Maybe

Was it the amazing Don Miguel Ruiz books I was reading? Maybe

Was it the moon cycle? Maybe

Was it gratitude for all the things that are going so well? Maybe

Was it booking a couple of weekends away? Maybe

Was it being a little more social with people? Maybe

Was it doing something different like the Archibald exhibition and the entertainment at Art After Hours? Maybe

Was it writing a budget for 2019? Maybe

Was it making it through August, my biggest bills month, without using any of my savings? Maybe

 

And maybe it’s none of these things.

Maybe it’s all of these things.

Maybe it’s a few of these things.

What I have learnt is that there is no answer. And becoming ok with that is one of the keys, for me at least. To become a little more ok with the uncertainty of life. That I can’t control everything. That I don’t have to try to control everything. Life is not black and white. Life is not right or wrong. There is no such thing as perfection.

So my advice? I have none. Oh I cant help myself – I have to say something. Maybe just continue to be curious, to learn, to let go a bit, to accept uncertainty and to be more accepting of who you are right now. And don’t give up on being who you want to be.

Be kind to yourself.

Wxx