Yes this sounds totally daft. Let me see if I can actually explain this to make sense.
Most of us are in such a big crazy rush every day. We are never alone. We are with our partners, our friends, our children, our work colleagues or a billion other people commuting to work. We feel safe and secure and surrounded by love.
But what happens to the people that get to spend time alone? Quite often they experience a lot of loneliness. I live on my own. I know about this. And after a few weeks of not working and being with people every day I get to feel it more. And we think of it as being uncomfortable and awful. Loneliness seems like a bad thing. But what comes out of loneliness? If we have time to sit with ourselves and contemplate our lives and why we are unhappy and how we can make things better, we learn more about ourselves. We get to know ourselves better and we also learn that we get through the discomfort. We become resilient. We know we are fine on our own and whilst we love being with other people we realise we don’t ‘have’ to always be with other people. We gain an inner strength. We know we are fine on our own and we know we are fine with other people.
The most important bit for me is the self reflection. How can we do any self reflection if we are so busy rushing around all day. And being with other people. I get to a place of contentment and security within myself. I know that I am OK.
Do you hate or love spending time on your own when it happens???
People in relationships often talk about feeling lonely – so it’s not just about single people. What if you were to embrace this and really delve inside yourself to see what makes you feel lonely? What if you were to just sit with it and observe it with no judgement (check out Leo Babauta – the Zen Habits man – he talks about this quite often and his posts are way more succinct and spot on than mine).
Be kind to yourself.
Wx
I was just talking to my husband about this today – he is the best! He suggested I had some time to myself in the morning before I go and do some mobile massage.
Husband: “how about I take Flynn in the morning to your Mum’s BBQ so you can have some time to you?”
Me: ”is it obvious that I like me time more than you?”
Husband: “nope, you just do a lot for us so you need to do something for you.”
I NEED alone time: that way I can keep being the wife, the mum, the teacher and the therapist that I want to be!!!!!!! SIMPLES!!!!!!!
Alone time is so magical! Loving your husband – what beautiful insight! x
Thanks Wendy I’ll have a read Zen Habits. Nice start ?
When I was watching the Minimalist documentary on Netflix the other night – Mr Leo Babauta (Mr Zen Habits) was on the show. Oh the excitement. I did a little happy dance in the lounge room. He just keeps testing things to see what works and what doesn’t – absolutely fascinating. x
I do agree Wendy … you can be alone not lonely (my Mumma) and be partnered up and with someone yet so deeply lonely. Love your first post xxx
It’s a huge useful lesson – all the people we surround ourselves with, not just partners!!!!! So much love in the world. x
Totally agree re. self reflection. I guess there are different aspects to ‘lonely’. I love my alone time, im fine with it, i saviour and protect it. Years of having kids. Countless hours with my mental health patients and co workers have left me valuing my alone time. However some of my patients would disagree with me (from their perspective)…
I think it can be really tough to learn to love alone time – it can be quite challenging for some people. I think we are very lucky to be able to love it!!!! And that includes the happy alone and the struggle alone…. 🙂 x
Well done and well said!
Thank you! We are kindred souls in many ways 🙂 x