“I’m feeling afraid and I’m doing it anyway”. Growing up my parents said sky diving was stupid and dangerous. “Over my dead body” they said. They were my parents. I believed them. But do some research – surely statistically it’s more likely you will get cancer or be injured in a car than something going wrong sky diving? Do we all need to live in cotton wool? In a bubble? Is that living? I cannot describe what a brilliant experience this was. Mostly just because I did it in spite of my fear. My mindset has come so far. Add in feeling like you are flying, like a bird, the spectacular view, the peace when the parachute comes out, the freedom, the beauty, the pride, the boldness, the exhilaration, the bliss, the moment of pure presence when nothing else matters in the world – it’s magic. The biggest thanks to Christine for the incredibly generous gift towards me becoming my best self and to the whole crew @skydive, you are so much fun. What’s next????

So how did I manage to make this happen? How did I change my mindset to allow me to do it? Believe I could do it. Believe I was all my mantras – safe and secure, bold and brave, confident and capable? Believe I could be one of them? One of those people that did brave wild things like jumping out of a plane.

It all started with a Will Smith video. Google him on sky diving. It only goes for a couple of minutes and he talks about how he focussed on his fear and then half way through realised he was missing out on the pure joy and exhilaration of one of the best experiences of his life. He made me realise my fear was making me miss out. I don’t want to miss out anymore! I’ve done enough missing out.

So I practiced. Probably for a year to get to here. I told myself over and over again that anything was possible. I did little things out of my comfort zone again and again to give me confidence to do more. I embraced fear and did it anyway. And I was so incredibly lucky that when I said to a lovely friend that I was going to beat my fear of heights and jump out of plane, she immediately sent me a voucher. What a universe we live in. So it wasn’t just a thought then. It HAD to happen. I couldn’t waste her hard earned money, her generosity and her belief in me that I could do it.

And I think the key came on the day. I DID NOT ALLOW myself to think any negative messages. I did not allow a single thought into my head about it’s too dangerous, I can’t do it, I’m not brave enough, I’ve always been a scaredy cat, it’s too much for me to handle, what if the parachute fails, what if I vomit, what if I pass out, what if I do a nervous wee jumping out, what if I have to back out at the last minute, what if something goes wrong… All the thoughts that would usually run through my head about stuff like this. I only let myself have positive thoughts.

I caught a bus that the company organised from Sydney. A huge big blue bus with sky diving emblazoned all over it. I got on the bus, me on my own at 47, and everyone else 20 something. Old Wendy would’ve felt totally intimated and in the wrong spot. But it actually made me laugh. I was kind of one of the cool kids. I imagined everyone saying, “wow, how cool, an old chick giving it a go. I hope I give things a go when I’m an old chick.” I only let the positive into my mind. The bus was pumping loud bad party music at an ungodly time of the morning. I couldn’t read my book. So instead of being cranky I just let it go, giggled at what young people listen to these days and realised loud music wouldn’t kill me. There was a beautiful view outside and I was on my way to an incredible adventure. And then cars would stop next to the bus and look up at all the people that were brave enough to jump out of a plane and I was sitting there in the window. Me, scaredy cat. I was the cool kid, doing wild things. I spent the bus journey visualising how I would feel afterward – proud, in awe of myself, brave, courageous, amazing, wild, raw, new, unstoppable, unleashed, excited about what was possible in the future. And I visualised feeling like a bird flying through the air. And I attempted not to cry in front of the 20 somethings for who I was becoming. For the gratitude of this experience, for the glorious world we live in, for the beauty, for how lucky I felt to get this opportunity, for the cleverness of people that created planes.

And afterwards? It was all these things I imagined. It was exhilarating, it was pure joy, it was bliss and silence, and in so many ways it was surreal after thinking about it for months. I truly felt in awe of myself for making it happen. And even a month later sometimes I have to pinch myself and watch the video to remember that I actually did it. And it was easy. So if I can do this, what else can I do?

So to my Mum – I’m sorry. But hopefully you now know that it’s a beautiful experience and it’s made me a better person, a happier person, a person that loves me more, a less scared person, a more accepting of the unknown person, and a person more hopeful about the future me and what’s possible. And I think that just maybe you might be proud of me.

If you are thinking about it, I seriously recommend you go do it. I think it’s changed my life because now when I’m scared I remember back to this and that pushing through the fear made me feel incredible. I want to feel incredible more often.

Be kind to yourself

Wxx