Here’s my tips on how to choose goals for next year based on my experience over the last few years.
- What do you want to repeat from this year because it was so great
- What scares you
- What’s fun for you
- What will make you look back and say to yourself “it was a great year because I…”
- Give your goals some sort of measurement
- Pick some easy and quick goals
- Pick a huge stretch goal that you can’t imagine you can even do
- Give your goals where possible some steps, eg not only completed or failed but can achieve 80%
- Do not pick any ‘should’ goals – pick goals that fill your heart
- Put the list up somewhere so you can look at it every day and see your progress
- The number of goals doesn’t matter.
I don’t care if a couple feel impossible. Because getting most of them done is achieving so much that you wouldn’t have done otherwise. 17 out of 20 is 85% and that’s an amazing score.
If you want to write a list and talk me through it I’m happy to help ensure you’ve got goals that are right for you and get you excited.
Here’s the explanations for them:
- What do you want to repeat from this year because it was so great
Something was great this year? Why wouldn’t you do it again next year? You can use this to set yourself up for success. You know something worked so it gives you confidence you can do it again. It helps your mind feel anticipation and joy KNOWING this great thing is going to happen again. Mine from this year was volunteering at Park Run 4 times. It was better than expected. Made me feel I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing in life. It FELT SO GOOD. It also gave me a break from feeling I needed to push every Saturday. I could go out occasionally on a Friday night knowing I didn’t need to run the next morning. Next year I am going to up this to 6 volunteer sessions because it was so wonderful.
2. What scares you
Why pick this? I think this is hugely important. This is what helps grow your confidence. It doesn’t have to be big. It just needs to be out of your comfort zone. You need to feel scared about it. This will bring you the biggest growth. Every time you do something scary, you give yourself more confidence about what else you might be able to do. Last year for me it was going to a singing lesson. This year it is open mic. Whilst I haven’t yet done an open mic I am back at singing lessons and they aren’t nearly as terrifying as when I first started. I’m more accepting that I am a beginner and I have a lot to learn. They are, dare I say, starting to become fun. Imagine a world in which the thing that scares you becomes fun? Wouldn’t that be magic.
3. What’s fun for you
Goals aren’t all meant to be hard and scary and dreaded. Life is meant to be fun. The more fun we are having the easier everything seems in life. Set some goals to look forward too. Fun is important in life. Without any fun it’s hard to feel any joy or get energy for the things that matter. My fun goals include things like holiday somewhere new, reading books, watching a movie every month. Things that make you love your life!!!!!!! And feel good you are achieving your goals, ticking them off the list and living the life you want.
4. What will make you look back and say to yourself “it was a great year because I…“
What would make you feel good about yourself at the end of the year? Feel proud of yourself? Feel you were living the life you wanted? Feel you progressed? Feel you did the things that matter? What if you finally did that thing you’ve been thinking about in your head for years? What if you started that course, signed up for a mentor, joined a group, wrote that song/poem/book that’s in you? Started painting, sewing, brewing beer, visiting old people in a nursing home? For me a couple of years ago it was starting a nutrition course. It was fascinating but I learnt that nutrition wasn’t my calling. Which led to me doing life coaching the following year. A totally worthwhile start because if I didn’t do the first subject, I would’ve kept on wondering for years what I was meant to do with my life. And I never would’ve found what I absolutely love doing. The best lesson from something that didn’t work out.
5. Give your goals some sort of measurement
This goes back to our corporate jobs setting SMART objectives. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time bound. I’m not so fussed on achievable because sometimes you just want to see what’s possible but they definitely need to have some sort of measurement. How do you know if you’ve done it if you can’t measure it? Don’t beat yourself up for not achieving a goal when it was quite impossible in the first place.
This year I had learn French and not surprisingly I learnt how to say I like tea and absolutely nothing else. It was an impossible goal. Who can learn an entire language in a year anyway – unless you are living with it day in and day out. Plus I don’t even know all the words in English so how could I ever know everything about French? However my marathon goal to complete a marathon on 7 July 2019 on the Gold Coast was better to work with. And it’s why I could make it happen. I had to make a plan and mostly stick to it to make this goal happen. I guess it was also a priority. My number 1 goal for the year to focus on. Having an idea of which goals are the most important can also help you to prioritise your time.
6. Pick some easy and quick goals
Quick wins give you more confidence to tackle the larger goals and it looks awesome having big ticks on your list early in the year. Very motivating to keep going for the other goals because you want that big tick or gold star. Every big tick on your goals is such an exciting event. And a reason for a celebration. There are so many things in life we want to do, have done and writing them down makes them more likely to happen. Get these things out of your head and completed. For example next year I have update my will and do a backup for my website. They are not a cop out – it’s using how your mind works to help motivate you to achieve the bigger goals as well. And how good does it feel when you’ve done so many goals? Rock star status.
7. Pick a huge stretch goal that you can’t imagine you can even do
Why? It sounds like you are setting yourself up for failure. But I don’t believe that’s true. I think this is where you actually get to shine and show yourself you are capable of so much more than you think. Of course sometimes this goal might not be achieved. But you can still look at all the other goals and realise you did them, you got a mark of 95% or whatever it may be and that’s bloody impressive. But you tried something new, pushed a bit harder and you will learn lessons out of this for next time. This was the marathon for me. I didn’t really think I could do it. But what the hell, I decided to do the training and see what happens. I didn’t run the whole way or do the time I wanted but that doesn’t matter – what matters is finishing a marathon and that’s fricken awesome. No one can take that medal away from me. It still shocks me. Everytime I say ‘I’m a runner” my mind instantly says no you are not, and then I remember that it’s actually true. I am a runner. And I feel such a joyful rush of pride. And quietly wonder to myself what else might be possible.
8. Give your goals steps/levels where possible
Goals that are only completed or failed are demoralising. If you can achieve 80% it will feel great, and woohoo high distinction top of your class, rather than 0% which makes you feel bad about yourself that you have failed. Because when you are looking at the final progress / marking of your goals at the end of year, who says you can’t have .8 of a goal complete. And if you over complete another goal you can have a mark of 1.2. It’s your life and your rules. You can do whatever makes life better for you. If your goal is 52 Park Runs and you only do 50, is that failure? Or is that a phenomenal effort? I say it’s absolutely wonderful and you deserve to feel good about it. And what is the lesson learnt? You need contingency for goals? Sometimes you get sick or you go away and no park run is available? So if you can make your goals have a bit of flexibility you can do something and feel good about the bit that was achieved. A start is a start and deserves some kudos. We don’t need to change the world (or ourselves) overnight.
9. Do not pick any ‘should’ goals – pick goals that fill your heart
Don’t. Just don’t. No one wants to do the shoulds. So stop it. Pick goals you WANT. Not things you think you should be doing. Don’t pick walking if you hate it. Maybe you want to get fitter. Find something you love. Maybe make a goal to find exercise you love and you can start experimenting with hiking, biking, dancing, spin class, weights, touch footy, martial arts, yoga, rock climbing, trapeze. Make one goal to try one new thing every month. Think about the outcome that you actually really want and use your imagination to do it in a way that feels good. It’s nearly impossible to achieve should goals – they will always feel like a burden and you will dread everything about them.
10. Put the list up somewhere so you can look at it every day and see your progress
For some reason I often struggle to get people on side with this one. The small daily actions seem too small and not worth noting down. But as per my whiteboard, if you write down every good thing you do towards your goal every day, by the end of the year you are likely to have hundreds and hundreds of things. And how exciting is that? And you are likely to have had some great results.
As a minimum if you don’t write down wins every day, make sure you look at your goals list every day. If they are measurable and you have some easy wins you will be able to see a lot of ticks for the ones you have completed. If it’s in front of your face it makes you keep thinking each day or each week about what action you can take for that goal this week. Again it doesn’t need to be life changing, it just needs to be something. Keep heading in the right direction, taking another step and you will get closer and closer.
11. The number of goals doesn’t matter
It might be 5 and it might be 20. But if it’s not enough it might be hard to get motivated to start because you’ve got all year and can worry about them later (and suddenly it’s too late so you don’t achieve any goals – a brilliant reason to ensure you include a couple of easy goals you can cross off the list quickly). Conversely too many goals and it could feel overwhelming and impossible so you are too demoralised to even start.
Go forth and set goals wonderful people. Here’s to 2020 being the best year of your life.
Be kind to yourself.
Wxx
